From as far back as I can remember, growing up with Toni was just full of such fun, high jinx and mischievous misadventure. From the toilet lid-seat she named “Fireflash” that we used as a sled down the neighbours sloping gravel driveway to stacking old mattresses in our front garden so we could jump out onto them from our first-floor window while Mum was at work.

I recall having so much fun we lost track of time and Mum returned catching us completely red-handed.

Toni never did do things by halves; knock-down-ginger was on entire blocks of flats rather than just the odd house; starting at the top-floor and finishing at the bottom, running out to go and hide and watch ALL the occupants empty out onto the street.

As we passed into adulthood I grew to admire her successes; her determination, conviction and inner strength without ever losing the fun and sense of humour that was engrained in her.

I remain however, forever in awe of her resilience and absolute courage in the face of adversity particularly in the years of battling her illness. It is with that in mind that the words of the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley seems rather fitting….

Out of the night that covers me,   
  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,   
I thank whatever gods may be   
  For my unconquerable soul.   

In the fell clutch of circumstance 
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.   
Under the bludgeonings of chance   
  My head is bloody, but unbowed.   

Beyond this place of wrath and tears   
  Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years   
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

  
It matters not how strait the gate,   
  How charged with punishments the scroll,   
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.